My Patron Saint: St. Teresa of Avila

I underwent my Confirmation classes from August 2016 to April 2017 and was inducted into the Church on the Easter Vigil of 2017. Part of our acceptance ceremony involved announcing our chosen patron saint. This saint is someone we aspire to be like or someone who inspires us through their life and choices.

I researched saints a few times, but never took it seriously until March when I realized I was running out of time. At this point in my life, my headaches were at an all-time high, so I put in a Google search for "patron saint of headaches."

St. Teresa of Avila came up, and I never looked back.

St. Teresa of Avila is the patron saint of headache sufferers, bodily illnesses, mental illnesses, and those who have lost a parent. She is also the patron saint of Spanish writers. Although at the time I no longer considered myself a writer, it was also fitting that the two greatest eras of my life up to that point (writing and chronic pain) were matched to one person.

While I hope to not suffer from chronic headaches anymore, I read half of her memoir, The Book of My Life, and I would be foolish to step away from her example now. She spent most of her life in a convent, and still she fell from grace dozens of times throughout her life.

She indulged in the secular world, largely through reading fiction. She entertained men intellectually because she liked the attention. St. Teresa of Avila loved the Lord with her entire being, but she remained tied to the wonders of the world.

I often fall short of grace because I get too involved in relationships or give in to anger and doubt. I am a strong Christian until I date someone new and then try to do and be everything for them. I practice forgiveness and aim to have control of my emotions and reactions until I bubble over and lash out. I wonder how many times I can be forgiven for repeating the same sins over and over.

But as Jesus said, we should forgive our friends seven times seventy times, and if our friends can do this, how much greater is the Lord's forgiveness? (Matthew 18:21-22). I fall short, but God still wants me back. He wants me to return to Him like every parent wants their child to come back to them after they move away.

St. Teresa of Avila relates to me so well, I can't imagine looking to any other mortal person to see how I need to improve. She did so many things right, but she also did things wrong and tried to right herself. I can only hope to right myself as often as needed to permanently improve my character.

May Our Lord give us strength and perseverance to keep improving even after we fail. Our sin does not define us, but our grace, so I ask, O Lord, for Thy Will to guide us into our best selves. Amen.