My prayer and self goal for 2018 is to seek and welcome peace into my mind, heart, and soul in whatever form God wills. In the last 6 years of exploring Christianity and religion as a whole, I journeyed down numerous paths to knowledge so that I would know what I wanted to pursue. Upon deciding on Catholicism in 2016 and joining the faith, I now realize how little use knowledge has compared to the wisdom spoken of in the Bible.
Worldly and Spiritual Matters
Learning about religion and sacred places helped me discern what resonated with me in my head first, but it was my heart and soul that led me to decide. While I studied major world religions in university and focused intently on the eastern beliefs for my minor in Asian studies, this knowledge did little to soothe the struggles in my life because I wasn't relying on them as my source of faith.
Worldly knowledge is sought above most things, and while I have said before that education is essential, it's important for me to note how I change mentally when I'm in deep study of worldly matters. I become distant from any sort of prayer or scripture because I think that the more answers I obtain, the more omnipotent I become, which is absolutely dumb. I somehow grow more ignorant when I rely on worldly facts.
The truth is, my knowledge is not tied to my worth as a human being, and since that's how I equated it for most of my life, my ego boosted with each semester of school that passed. However, all I learned was how to stand in awe of someone who had a higher degree or more years of experience and that comparison caused me anxiety and stress because I wanted to stand where they stood.
Worldly matters change every day, every year, every decade, but spiritual matters are constant. I must treat others how I want to be treated. I should be slow to anger and quick to forgive. I should do my work diligently. The more I read spiritual or faith-based books, the more at peace I am with those around me instead of wondering how much further along in life they may be compared to me.
At the end of the day, knowledge will change with the times, but wisdom transcends time.
Wisdom as a Journey
Wisdom is not a fact we learn one day and remember it forever. We must strive to be better than we were yesterday, and that involves improving our minds, hearts, and souls in every flaw we discover.
Wisdom for me is understanding how to forgive quickly and praise God with every situation in my life without disruption. Wisdom for me is remembering God's voice in my head when I am angry, bitter, or hurt and stopping myself from acting out in worldly ways with yelling or fighting. Wisdom is knowing that I am always second to my Lord, and that my purpose is to serve Him and my brothers and sisters.
I don't know if anyone achieves wisdom. Sure, we think that this person and that person are wise, but internally, they may always see themselves as a work-in-progress, and we should all see ourselves that way. Once we think we've reached the top and have no more to learn is when we let ignorance and ego take over. At this point, we have to start again.
This is one of the reasons I adore St. Teresa of Avila. She never saw herself as doing enough for the Lord and always wanting to learn from those who are educated, but at the end of the day, her unrelenting faith is what brought about her sainthood, not a formal education. By focusing on the things that matter, we start to realize how many unimportant things are given an undue pedestal.
My Lord, guide me on Your path. May I stay humble and eager to learn from You and those You have called to do Your work. Thanks be to God.
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