Fulfilling the Second Greatest Commandment in the Wrong Way

Yesterday's Gospel reading focused on Mark 12:29-31:

Jesus said, "The most important commandment is this: 'Hear, O Israel! The Lord our God is the one and only Lord. And you  must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.' The second is equally important: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' No other commandment is greater than these."

Exodus 20:16-17 include not lying against or coveting our neighbors, but what Jesus says brings this commandment into a different light. Many individuals may be able to say that they do not gossip about others or that they are not jealous of what their co-workers or friends have, but are they being treated well?

Today's society suffers from an extreme case of low self-esteem. We talk down on ourselves mentally and aloud: we aren't doing enough, we should have moved up in our career by now, we should be married with children, we should spend more time with our families, we should lose weight. The list goes on, but then there are more generalized comments we think of ourselves: I'm annoying, I'm disliked, I don't do anything right, I shouldn't be here anymore.

The way we speak to ourselves is a reflection of the love we have for ourselves. Imagine telling your spouse, best friend, or child that they're constantly ruining things and that it'd be better if they stayed home and did their own thing. What kind of emotional and mental damage would that cause? If it's not something you can say to another human being, it isn't something you should say to yourself.

Jesus calls us to love our neighbor as ourselves, and unfortunately, we are. The same degrading love we shower on ourselves is the selfish, doubtful love that others receive. We don't always do the most for others when half the work will suffice. We might scroll through social media when a friend or family member calls rather than listen to their words. We might make excuses for why we can't help at a work function because we'd rather be at home focusing on ourselves.

The problem isn't that we're disobeying God, but we're following His law through a loophole. We should love our neighbor as we love our best friend, our children, our mentors. We should love each other as much as those closest to us. We should love them as God loves us.

Whenever I catch myself falling into a spiral of negativity, I remember the lesson I received from a spiritual mentor a few years ago: if I spoke aloud what I felt in front of my parents, how would they react? Would they feel comfortable with hearing me talk about how worthless and broken I am, or would it hurt them to hear the being they created speak as though it was a failed undertaking?

That is how God must feel. He hears us beating ourselves and others up, and it hurts Him because He created us. He intended us to live a full life, and we're trying to convince Him that He failed. God does not fail. He does not make mistakes. Perhaps society should change its mindset to loving each other as God loves us.

The commandments are not outdated. They still need to be followed as instructed, especially considering a few of them are laws in nearly every country, but for those commandments that are not as simple to follow, we need to rearrange our thinking of ourselves to better serve those around us.

My Lord, my God, grant us the patience to love accordingly, the wisdom to know what love is, the grace to show others how to love, and the strength to love even in times of conflict. May we come together in Your name and experience the love You have for us in our love for others and self. Amen.