Single Deceits

Most faithful individuals don't feel called to the religious life of a priest or sister. The other options for the rest of us are marriage or singleness, but the idea of staying single for longer than anticipated, especially at the thought of our entire life, can lead to self-sabotage and a fear to pursue faith.

For me, the deceit comes in the form of self-doubt. Who am I to think I'm wife material? How could I raise children without ruining them? What qualifications do I have to care for another person? Aren't I too angry and prideful to help manage a household of more than just myself? What if I fall off the wagon and end up cultivating the same mindset I had growing up, one of uncertainty and instability?

These thoughts are not from God. Teresa of Avila wrote, "God is positive, and I am negative" (The Book of My Life). When we diminish our worth, that's not God speaking; it is the devil, the world, and our human imperfection speaking. God created me, and it's difficult to imagine the pain He feels listening to His children speak of themselves this way because I am not a parent.

What's important to remember is that God never expects us to be perfect. He wants the best from us. He wants us to be humble, but confident in who we are. Yes, we are nothing more than flesh, but we are made flesh by His hand and created to serve His purpose. When these thoughts invade, it's as though we're telling God that He made a mistake.

I struggle against this thought on a regular basis. I wake up and feel confident knowing that God knows the plan and that I'm where I'm supposed to be, but other days it's a struggle to find a reason to leave the house. I've been unmarried this long, maybe it is for my whole life, but I don't know this. I must follow God's will for me now and trust that He will make way for what is best in my life.

Do not fall for these deceits. Do not listen to these lies. It's a different kind of temptation, one that leads us to push away God directly. Not all days are good days, but not all nights are long. If we stay close to the Father and the Son, the negative words will slowly fade away until all that is left is words of praise.