Having Faith Tested

I first confirmed my belief in God and the Savior and that there is no one else before Him on January 19, 2014. I dove into Christianity with everything I had. I wanted to read the Bible, I wanted to listen to the music, I wanted to attend the Sunday and Wednesday services (I was going to a Pentecostal church at the time), and I wanted to surround myself with the girls from church to help guide me.

I was going through a lot of changes, but my life was definitely easy. I had two part-time jobs within the first two weeks of earning my Bachelor's degree. I found friends who shared my spiritual beliefs as much as a my career dreams and aspirations. I had a new relationship that helped me to learn how not to be with future boyfriends (always a blessing in disguise when you're going through it). At the end of the day, I had no reason to complain.

One of my favorite songs from the early days, and I first heard this song back in 2015, was "God is on the Move" by 7eventh Time Down. While driving earlier this week, it came on the radio and floored me to recount how much had changed in 3 years.

I can't count myself a new Christian, and that's where people may fall off the wagon. You feel invincible when you first accept and encounter Jesus Christ. Afterwards, God tests you. He does this to strengthen our faith, just as Jesus did with the Apostles. We forget that we are called to live the same life and turn away from God, the church, or both when these tests prove too difficult.

My life is still easy, and there's an abundance to be thankful for. I have a full time job with a steady roof over my head. I'm single and the greatest worry I have is my car. I give most of my care to myself and my husky. I still speak to both my parents. I belong to a church. I have Christian and spiritual friends who always bring me back to God regardless of their personal faith.

But from these good things, God needs to purify me from 20 years without Him to guide me. I have anger management to focus on. I need to love all people instead of conjecture how this one plans to manipulate me. I need to give more time to my community. I need to be forgiving. I need to grow my faith so that I don't fear one day caving into my anger and burdens and destroying the woman I thought I was.

I survived brain surgery, hurtful people, and the moments where I wanted to give up. I learned when I could and tried to take notes to study later when I couldn't linger on the memories. I found new coping mechanisms. I prayed more frequently. I found reasons to take another step.

God's tests will never be too difficult for us. He prepares the called. He will strengthen me for my fights so that my faith deepens in Him. I have nothing to fear if I trust in God to deliver me from every storm.

My Lord, You are strong and merciful. Nothing is too great for You. May You take us by the hand and lead us to safe waters when You need to restore us and fortify us for the battle when You need to strengthen us. May all the people of the world give their praise, adoration, honor, and glory to the One who made them. Amen.