One of my lifestyle changes for 2018 was to always have a book on my nightstand and to read 30 minutes minimum daily. This month I wanted to delve more into St. Teresa of Avila, who I chose to be my patron saint at the time of my Confirmation.
The Book of My Life
This memoir focuses on her early age to her late forties. Teresa of Avila often puts herself down, thinking her actions and thoughts are not enough to exemplify the goodness of God, and spends her life questioning how God could use a soul as weak as hers. At her core, she loves and desires nothing but a connection with Him, and her desires are what I hope to have.
I first found Teresa of Avila because she is the patron saint of headache sufferers, but the more I read about her, the more I realize my constant slips back into sin align me more with her than any chronic pain could. She strives to be better every day she wakes up, and this mindset is what I have been working toward for the last six months.
I want my soul to be on fire for God to the point where my old temptations do nothing but make me laugh. I want to be strong enough to not only push them away, but face my previous downfalls without hesitation in my choice to walk away. I want to pray so fervently that I can't deny that God is with me at all times. I want to love God and Jesus Christ to the point where I wake up with joy that everyone feels because my heart is so full it can't be contained.
I started this book last spring, but stopped halfway. I'm so grateful for the renewed desire to pick it up, start over, and finish it because Teresa of Avila mirrors so many of my spiritual downfalls that it renews my spirit to try again, and her closeness to God in her heart inspires me to be that close to Him, too.
I plan on reading more of Teresa of Avila's works, but in the meantime, I think I may jump back over to Matthew Kelly or perhaps find someone new to fuel my motivation to be a better Christian today than I was yesterday.
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