Mental Detachment

I spoke previously about detachment from things that lead us to do wrong or from people who hurt us or lead us down a bad road. However, while reading The Book of My Life by Teresa of Avila, I'm learning about the need for mental detachment.

Last year, I suffered a great blow to my reputation because of what one person said about me. What they said were lies, but even when they spoke the truth, they spoke with such contempt that people gave me dirty looks when they saw me. It was something I had never experienced before. Girls in high school weren't as mean as this person, but God saved me from continuing this experience and brought me out of it.

I thought this was the kind of detachment that saints and scholars spoke about, but like with everything spiritual, we try to make it physical so we can understand it. However, Teresa of Avila referred to the mental attachment we have to people, specifically their words about us.

Detachment from idols? Sure, add distance to the friends, parents, or loved one who we worship. Detachment from bad habits and people? Okay, let me walk away and seek solace elsewhere. But our minds? How do we stop taking what other people say about us as the last judgment?

Whether someone is attacking me or praising me, at the end of the day, their words mean nothing on my soul. God's opinion alone is what will alter my life. Even if what the person had said last year was true, it would not change the fact that others now view me poorly, but these opinions do not change who I am as a person unless I change because of it.

This mental detachment is difficult. How do we accept praise as a fleeting thought someone has about us and not build up our own image in our heads? I don't think this is merely a lack of humility, but a need for validation. Our society has taught us that what other people say, like, or share about us is what makes us the kind of person we are. However, my relatives or boss telling me how great I am doesn't do anything to aid my soul or my heart because the moment their view changes, even temporarily, will ruin my day.

Teresa of Avila explains this in depth and highlights the complex idea that we cannot worship multiple gods. We cannot expect to follow Christ and be in union with Him and also rely on approval of others to feed our hearts (248). Our worth comes from God. Our life comes from God. Any goodness we have comes from, yes, God.

Practicing detachment from validation is needed for any person regardless of their belief. Children and teens should be reminded that they are a valued human being becuase they live, not because they have two thousand followers or get the most attention online. Everything in this world is temporary because we take nothing with us when we die, including the words of others.

Dear Lord, may You instill in me a desire for You and You alone. May I not succumb to the pressures of this society and instead flourish in the Word and Your promises. I ask for peace in the hearts, minds, and souls of all people on this earth. To You be the glory and praise. Amen.