When Prayer Works

One of my dear friends is a young woman I met while in college at my grandmother's church. We hung out for a few months and then I disappeared for two years, disappeared another six months, and the third time I showed up to service she forced me to stay, join the congregation, and be friends.

Okay, that was a drastic summary, but it's not completely false.

This young woman, her name is Sam, is the first person I call when I'm fighting with God. My fights with God often entail because I prayed for something, received it, and then immediately regretted my asking for it. Sam follows up my latest tirade with a simple, "Be careful what you pray for because God will hear it and He will deliver."

We often hear complaints about God not answering a prayer about finding a job, a spouse, or happiness, but what do these prayers often entail? Selfish desires. We want a job, not because we're unemployed, but because we don't like our boss or want to make more money because our car is old and we want a newer model. We want a spouse because all our friends from high school are getting married and we don't want to fall behind. We want happiness to seek us because it's too much effort to better ourselves in our surroundings and seek it ourselves.

God understands the true intent behind our desires and prayers. I believe He takes into account why we pray and follows through accordingly. For me, He always answers my prayers immediately when I am feeling lost and afraid to take the next step, but this fast response includes a sacrifice I'm usually unwilling to make because, well, worldly pleasure feels good.

My goal for 2019 is to practice, understand, and recognize discernment within my faith, relationships, and myself. In January, I prayed for discernment regarding a particular relationship that God revealed within minutes of engaging in silent contemplation: end the relationship.

I knew it was the answer. But what I lacked was why it needed to end. It wasn't closure I sought, but rather the understanding of specifically why the relationship made me feel anxious and fearful so that I could recognize similar signs in the future. It was these revelations that God provided when I sincerely prayed for discernment.

It didn't make the break easier, but if the road to Christ was easy, everyone would be Christian.

God explained that the reason I felt fearful was from being in the same situation I was in previously with an ex-boyfriend. I know what I'm seeking: oneness in a marriage, emotional and mental stability within myself and with someone else, and discovering my purpose. This relationship could never lead me to these end results, and therefore would only hinder my hopes like my previous.

Most importantly, God reminded me that I needed to continue to focus on being a whole and complete person on my own without seeking validation from another. God created spouses for companionship as well as complements. I will be One with my husband because of the union of marriage, but I am not currently an incomplete person because I am without a spouse.

Returning to my authentic self, if I can find who I am in God's eyes and plans, then He will send either my spouse or my purpose when I am ready for the next step. Something I'm still struggling to remember is that people are not good or bad; they are either genuine and authentic or false and lost. We must learn from one and guide the other, even if it means guiding ourselves away from our greatest temptations.

My Lord, we pray to better understand You and Your love for us. Help us to have the strength to carry out Your mission for us and the motivation to carry Your love to all reaches of the world. I pray for those struggling with change to experience hope and stability. In Jesus' name, Amen.